


Unlit Desires

by Saranghae



Series: Brothers in Arms [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post - House of Hades, Psychological Torture, Spoilers, What happy ending?, dark themes, implications of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saranghae/pseuds/Saranghae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When two gods decide it will be fun to torture a certain son of Hades into a screaming, cowering mess in the corner, Jason loses it a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unlit Desires

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoveraNoam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoveraNoam/gifts).



> this is the angsty lets torture nico fic that is the reason why Rowan and I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things

Jason had come to the conclusion that there were too many gods. Later he would realize that it wasn't that there were too many gods, but too few jobs for the gods. Too many subdivisions of something that could have easily been done by one single god. Save everyone the hassle of having to remember.

On the way to Athens, they had a not so pleasant run in with two minor gods who Jason had never heard of before. They weren't too happy with being forgotten.

What did they expect? Jason was raised Roman.

It had started with an impromptu visit from an extremely exhausted Nico di Angelo.

He had shadow travelled back to them halfway through his trip to Camp Half-Blood with Reyna, Coach Hedge and a very large marble goddess. He'd left the other two to fend for themselves for a couple minutes so that he could deliver a warning. In retrospect, it likely would have gone a lot smoother if he hadn't shown up when he did.

Jason had just about jumped a foot in the air when Nico had materialized behind him, panting hard and looking like he was seconds from passing out cold.

“Jumping Jupiter, Nico,” Jason muttered, hand clasped over his pounding heart when Nico laid a hand on his shoulder (for balance or to signify his arrival, Jason wasn't sure. With the state Nico was in, it could be either). “Don't scare me like that.”

Hazel rushed over to hug her brother but stopped in front of him, as if she was afraid to touch him. He forced a painful looking smile and kissed her cheek softly.

“What are you doing here, Nico?” Hazel asked, putting her hands on Nico's arms to try and keep him from falling over. “I thought you were with Reyna.”

Jason wasn't sure what Nico could possibly doing there. There was no way they'd already arrived at Camp Half-Blood. It had only been a couple days. 

Nico gave Jason a strange, slightly pained look before speaking to the rest of the crew. Percy and Annabeth were bellow deck, sleeping. They'd spent most of the time sleeping—catching up on rest they'd lost during their time in Tartarus.

“I'm not staying,” Nico said softly, leaning against Hazel slightly to try and steady himself. “I have to get back to them, they won't last much longer there alone. I have a message for you.”

Jason had a stirring feeling that it wasn't Reyna and Hedge in trouble of not lasting long.

“Gaea's been recruiting gods,” Nico continued. “Minor ones, no one too powerful, but she's sending them your way. We had a run in with Limos, god of hunger and starvation... not fun.”

Jason's eyes quickly scanned Nico's body, taking in his appearance. Jason was so used to him being skinny and pale that he hadn't even noticed. Nico looked like he did when he'd come out of the jar—frail and malnourished, skinny as a rail and pale as a ghost. 

“Nico,” Jason started, frowning in concern. “Are you alright?”

Nico shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. “I'll live,” he said determinedly. “That's not the point. I heard Limos talking. Gaea is sending _two_ gods at you. Two gods that... don't sound like they'd be very much fun to deal with alone—together they'll be ten times as powerful.”

As if on cue, the water around them stilled; the air seemed to stop moving and suddenly Jason's eyelids got very heavy.

“I'm flattered,” a voice said, snapping Jason back to his senses. He turned around, sword out. He was aware of the others at his back, making a small circle in the middle of the ship. 

“Piper,” Jason whispered. “Go wake Percy and Annabeth. Nico, get the hell out of here. You're in no condition to fight and the others need you.”

Piper had already run off into the hold of the ship before Jason had even finished his sentence. Nico nodded and moved out of the small circle, towards the shadows cast by the mast. He didn't get far though. 

The second before he stepped into the shadow, he dropped. His knees buckled under him and he collapsed in a heap on the floor. 

Frank was the first to react. “Nico!” he cried, taking a step towards the prone boy on the floor. Before he could take another step however, someone stepped out from behind the mast. Everyone whipped around to see the new comer, weapons at the ready. Piper came running back on deck with Percy and Annabeth close behind. Annabeth gasped and grabbed Percy's arm when she saw Nico's body laying there with the tall man standing over him.

The god had long black hair that stopped just below his shoulders. His skin was as pale as ivory and his fingers were long—almost freakishly long. He wore nothing but a frail tunic, his bones jutting out, heavily pronounced under his translucent skin. He smiled, the movement drawing the skin over his sunken face, his eyes two huge beads of black, making them look like endless pits. 

“I don't let my pray get away that easily,” the man said, his voice like nails on a chalkboard. It was a different voice than the one that had spoken before, which set Jason's nerves even more on edge. The god knelt down beside Nico and slid his claw-like finger across his cheek. “Such a pretty boy. Such dark thoughts. My favourite.” 

He sounded so genuinely pleased that it made Jason's skin crawl. Piper came up beside him again, her newly acquired sword in her hand. 

Jason felt the fresh, very real anger boiling inside of him. He felt personally threatened by this man's hands on Nico. Nico didn't like him much, but damn it if Jason wasn't trying. Every since their run in with Cupid (Eros, whatever) he'd been trying to break down Nico's walls. Nico desperately needed a friend and Jason wanted to be that friend. He would carry Nico's secret with him to his grave, if that's what Nico wanted. 

“Get your hands off him,” he hissed, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Touchy, this one.”

Jason whirled, facing the other side of the ship. It was the voice who'd spoken before, and now it had a face. Jason glared at the man leaning against the bow but his expression faltered when he felt an unusual tug in his gut; a feeling he usually associated with when he and Piper were—okay that was weird. He blushed a little, confused at himself for the feelings he was having. He looked around at his friends and realized they all shared similar expressions. Who were these guys?

The newest arrival pushed himself off the bow and slowly walked towards them, tilting his head to the side and moving his hips in a way that made Jason squirm uncomfortably. He felt drawn to this man—he wanted to go up and touch him and the mere thought sent shivers down Jason's spine. 

He was tall, not as tall as the man who was still kneeling over Nico's body (Jason kept flicking glances back at the two of them but he couldn't take his eyes off this new man for long) but he was taller than Jason, taller than Frank even. He had wavy blond hair which almost touched his shoulders. His sultry smile and bright blue eyes made Jason's legs turn to Jello. He ached to move closer to him but firmly held his ground. He saw Leo inching towards the god and grabbed his arm tightly, keeping him in place. 

“Who are you?” Percy demanded, Riptide gleaming in the light of the setting sun. 

The beautiful god chuckled softly, his laugh causing a small, undignified noise to slip past Jason's lips. 

“My name is Pothos, Percy Jackson, god of sexual longing and desire. And this is my friend, Epiales, god of Nightmares.”

Jason flushed with embarrassment. God of sexual longing and desire. Yup, that would explain a lot. He saw identical blushes on all of his friend's faces, which only made him blush darker. 

“Epiales?” Annabeth squeaked over her embarrassment. “But... Phobetor is the god of Nightmares, isn't he?”

Epiales made a rather grotesque noise in the back of his throat and shot a glare at Annabeth, effectively shutting her up. “Phobetor, Phobetor, oh why can't you be more like your brother Phobetor? Gods, I hate hearing his name. No, _little girl_. I am the god of Nightmares. My halfwit brother is the spirit of Nightmares, who appears in the form of an animal or monster. I, however, am different. I enter people's minds, put them to sleep and trap them in a dream so vivid, so real, that it leaves them screaming within seconds. I bring their worst fears to life, child, I do not merely scare them for the fun of it.”

Pothos made a small humming sound and walked towards his partner. Jason moved out of his way without even thinking about it, his body moving on it's own. He swallowed hard and tightened his grip on his sword. _Don't loose your head_ , he thought, trying to stay focused. 

Pothos knelt down beside Nico and stroked his hair before leaning down to kiss his cheek softly. Jason growled, but he wasn't sure if it was because the god had touched Nico that way or if it was the lingering need to be beside the god. 

“Such a sweet child,” Pothos cooed. “Kindhearted, loyal, loving... but troubled. So many dark thoughts.”

Epiales chuckled and snapped his fingers. Nico instantly sat up, his eyes still closed and very obviously asleep. Jason heard Hazel inhale sharply beside him. He glanced down at her and saw her fighting back tears. He'd heard her story—of her encounter with Clytius, of how he'd used their friends as his mouth. The mere thought made him shiver. 

Jason move forwards, to get them away from Nico, but Epiales turned his demon eyes on Jason and hissed. Jason was rooted to the spot. He was stuck. He could barely move an inch, even to look away.

“Sit back and watch the show, Jason,” Pothos purred, wrapping his arms around Nico and hauling him to his feet. Nico stood there, eyes closed and body limp. 

The look in Pothos' eyes terrified Jason. He knew that this was going to be one of the most traumatic battles they had to face. He could feel it in his bones.

“Let's induce a dream,” Pothos breathed, pressing his lips to Nico's ear and blowing softly. Nico's lips twitched up at the corners slightly. He was having... a nice dream? 

“A dream of the person he yearns for the most. A dream of what it feels like to have the one you crave pressed up against you.” Pothos slid his hand down Nico's cheek as the son of Hades took a small breath, letting it out with a shudder and the slightest moan.

Jason definitely felt like he was interrupting something. His face felt hot but he couldn't look away. He knew _exactly_ who Nico was thinking of and the mental image it gave him would likely haunt him for a few weeks. He shuddered. That was something he didn't need to think about his friends doing.

Pothos' face was sweet, kind and handsome. But something in his eyes set Jason's nerves on end. He was so focused on the god, so watchful of his behaviour that he couldn't take his eyes off of him. He was unaware of the others around him. They could have all disappeared in an instant and he wouldn't have noticed. 

“Now let's see,” Pothos hissed, his voice turned as icy as his gaze. “how such a beautiful dream can twist.”

Epiales slid his fingers through Nico's hair and a full body shiver ran through the boy. His face contorted from one of happiness and pleasure to one of confusion. Something was happening in Nico's mind, and it wasn't good.

Epiales stepped back, melting slightly into the shadows cast by the mast. Pothos drew Jason's attention again, stepping in front of Nico and holding him around the waist. He pressed the smaller boy against his chest and slid his fingers slowly down Nico's neck. Nico started to whimper until the whimper turned into cries of pain. With every inch of his body that Pothos slid his finger across came another gasp, another muttered 'no'. 

“What did you do to him?” Jason found his voice again, even though it cracked some at the end. He couldn't watch this. He felt his insides curling. He couldn't even imagine what was going on inside Nico's head. 

Pothos started scratching him, digging his nails into the flesh of Nico's arms and dragging them down. Nico started to struggle, trying failingly to fight off the arms of the god. He had tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. Jason couldn't bare it any more. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, breaking away from the pitiful sight. When he opened his eyes again he saw the horrified faces of his friends. 

“Stop.”

Jason's eyes turned back to the scene in front of him. Nico had stopped fighting and was trembling violently in Pothos' arms, crying openly and whimpering softly. “P-please stop... Hurts.”

Jason's gut gave a shuddering lurch and he fought back the urge to throw up. It was torture. He was witnessing this god torture Nico with the person he wanted most. 

“Why?” Pothos' voice was sickly sweet, head tilting to the side and lips brushing over Nico's cheek. “Don't you want me? Don't you love me?” 

Jason knew who's voice Nico could hear but all he heard was the poisonous voice of the lust god. Jason felt sick. 

“I'm going to kill you,” he hissed through his teeth, causing Pothos to look at him casually out of the corner of his eye. “I'm going to tear you to pieces, just you wait.”

Pothos smiled. Jason shivered and closed his eyes.

“Why, Jason, that's not very nice,” Pothos purred. “Why are you so angry, when it is you yourself who is letting this go on so long? It's you who can save him, you know. You were there. This precious child” --he stroked Nico's hair and Jason had to fight back a snarl-- “had a meeting with my brother, Eros. You know who he truly desires, Jason, and only that person can wake him from this nightmare. It's up to you. Will you keep Nico's secret?” Pothos tilted his head to the side and grinned widely. “Or sign his death warrant?”

Jason started to physically shake with the restraint he was achieving. He would break free of whatever was holding him in place and he would tear the grinning god's blond head off. 

Jason could feel his friend's eyes on him. He knew that they were casting confused glances his way. They had no idea the secret that Jason was holding for Nico. They had no idea what it would do to the boy if anyone found out. 

“Can't decide?” Pothos asked, pouting mockingly. “Too bad. I guess I'll have to prove to you how little time you have.” His hands moved and his long fingers wrapped around Nico's neck. The small boy let out a stifled gasp and gripped weakly to Pothos' wrists, his mouth open in a silent cry and his knees slowly buckling under him—but Pothos kept him standing with the grip around his neck.

“Nico!” Hazel cried from behind Jason, the tears steaming down her face from fear and frustration from the inability to move to save her brother. Jason cursed softly. He would have to say it. He didn't have time to think of a plan B. Nico was going to hate him.

“Oh for gods sake!” Annabeth cried. “It's me, I already know! Just let him go!”

Pothos laughed cruelly and tightened his grip on Nico's neck, a small whimper slipping past his lips before his fingers slipped from Pothos' wrists, falling limply at his sides. 

“You have seconds, Jason Grace!” Pothos spoke loudly, his voice booming around the ship and his eyes flashing bright gold. “Make your choice!”

“Percy.”

The name had slipped past his lips before he had realized he'd opened his mouth. He had tears clouding his vision and his muscles ached from him pushing against the invisible bonds holding him solid in place. “It's Percy he yearns for... Happy now?”

Jason couldn't look at Percy. He couldn't bring himself to see the confusion on his friend's face. He knew that he'd just broken whatever trust he'd gained from Nico. He knew he'd pushed his limits too far. But it was what he had to do. He wouldn't watch Nico die when he could do something to stop it.

“I...” he heard Percy stutter from beside him. “Me?”

Pothos laughed loudly and his grip around Nico's neck loosened. Before Nico could crumple to the ground, however, he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and pulled him close, stroking his hair again. 

Nico whimpered and cried softly and started to weakly fight again. Jason felt a rush of relief. He hadn't realized how terrified he'd been—how much he feared he'd been too late.

“Save him, Percy,” Pothos whispered. “Come towards me and wake him from his dream. Hold him close and call his name. He will wake to your voice.”

Jason heard alarm bells go off in his head. It was a trick. He knew it was. He didn't have time, however, to warn Percy before he spoke.

“I will save him,” Percy said softly and Jason marvelled at how collected he seemed, under the circumstances. “Because he will wake up. He sees you as me, doesn't he? When you hold him and torture him, it's me he sees. I'm right, aren't I?” 

To Percy's credit, his voice didn't break until the end. 

“So Nico,” Percy said, his voice barely a whisper. “I need you to do something for me. Listen closely... Kill me.”

Pothos' eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth a couple times in confusion. Jason had a feeling he hadn't seen this coming. 

Percy puffed out his chest and squared his shoulders. 

“Kill me!” he screamed. 

And Nico did was he was told.

In the blink of an eye, the unconscious Nico drew his sword from his belt and drove it forwards into Pothos' stomach. 

Pothos' mouth opened in shock and he froze as the gold ichor poured slowly from the wound. He backed up, the sword sliding from the wound and clattering on the deck when it slipped from Nico's fingers. Pothos hissed and clutched his stomach. He glared daggers at Percy.

“Epiales,” Pothos seethed, reminding Jason that the other god was even there, quietly watching the show. “Finish these brats off.” 

With that he was gone in a quick flash of light, leaving behind only a sparkling shimmer in the air. 

Instantly Jason felt his body freed from the restraints. He didn't know how Pothos had held them in place, but whatever it was was faded now. Before any of them could recover, however, Nico seemed to realize what he'd just done. But the catch was, he was still dreaming. 

He held his hands out in front of them as if to look down at them but his eyes were still closed. He slowly started to hyperventilate until a long scream ripped from his throat.

Jason stuttered forwards a few steps and heard Percy swear beside him. Jason turned to look at him. He had a slightly green tint to his skin and he looked like he may be sick any second, his appearance echoing how Jason felt. 

Percy had told Nico to kill him. And Nico believed he really had. 

“Nico,” Percy called, moving towards him quickly and taking him by the arms, shaking him a little to try and snap him out of it. “Nico wake up!”

Nico's eyes snapped open as he was commanded and he stared straight up at the man who until a couple seconds again, he believed was dead.

It didn't go well.

Nico screamed so loudly that Percy jumped back in surprise. The son of Hades stumbled backwards, screaming and shaking like a leaf. He only stopped backing up when he ran into the side of the ship. He stared straight at Percy, whimpering and crying. 

Jason felt his heart shattering in his chest. It was so pathetic. Hazel took a step towards her brother but her legs were too weak and she clung to Frank instead. Percy was frozen in place, a look of shock and hurt and confusion on his face. Jason took a deep breath and stepped forwards. 

He moved towards the trembling boy slowly, the way one would approach a wounded animal.

“Nico,” he whispered, trying to draw Nico's attention away from Percy. He touched Nico's arm gently. “Nico, it's alright.”

Slowly, very slowly, Nico's eyes turned away from Percy and he looked up at Jason. Their eyes locked for a second; two seconds, three. That was all it took for Nico to completely fall apart. He let out a heartbreaking sob and crumbled against Jason's chest, clinging to his shirt and trembling. Jason wrapped his arms around Nico's shaking frame and shushed him quietly. Nico started to sob, each sound was like a punch in the gut and Jason had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop himself from succumbing to the emotions.

“Well, I believe this is my cue to leave.” 

Jason looked over his shoulder at the god who was leaning against the mast, arms crossed and a lazy smirk on his cold looking face. 

“I don't exactly know what Pothos thinks I can accomplish here alone. My talent lies with hurting those who are sleeping. And since none of you are weak as that one is, I do not have the ability to put you to sleep. So I believe I will bow out now. But don't worry. You'll see me again. In your dreams.”

He grinned darkly and stepped back into the shadows, disappearing into the blackness as the sun set completely. 

Jason took a deep, shuddering breath and looked down at Nico's small form still clutching at his shirt. He slid his fingers through Nico's hair and kissed the top of his head the way he would do to the younger boys at Camp when they woke from nightmares.

“It was just a dream,” he whispered. “You're alright... Percy's alright.”

Nico let out a soft whimper of relief and collapsed completely in Jason's arms. The son of Jupiter held his weight and lifted him into his arms, holding him close and carrying him down into the bunk without another word. He could hear the others following but he didn't pay them any mind. He stepped into his own room and gently lay Nico down on his bed. Hazel was at his side instantly, stroking his hair and whispering soft words of comfort, but Nico couldn't hear. He was already asleep, but it was peaceful this time. 

Leo, Frank and Piper slipped from the room, leaving to go clean up some of the mess and get things running again.

“You knew?” Jason heard Percy ask softly from the doorway. “You knew about his feelings? And... and you didn't say anything?”

Jason turned slowly to look at the boy who he respected as much as he resented. 

“Why would I tell you?” he asked, more venom in his voice than he meant.

Percy visibly flinched and Annabeth put a comforting hand on his shoulder, shooting Jason a glare. Jason ignored her and pressed on.

“You, the person who always treats him like he's a walking time bomb. You, the person who hurt him to the point where he ran away, cursed himself and called himself _trash_. No, Percy Jackson, I did not tell you. Not only was it not my secret to tell, but it was none of your fucking business. You're too busy being disgustingly happy with your perfect girlfriend to notice the way he looks at you when you're with her. You're so naive. Blind, even. I was blind before. I didn't see it but now that I know I can't believe how stupid I was before. He just wanted to be loved and cherished and he was cast aside. He felt betrayed. He doesn't feel like he's worth being loved. He honestly believed that the only person who ever truly loved him was his sister and she's dead! Not anymore... I will protect that boy until my dying breath because he's _worth it_.”

Percy looked almost like he was about to cry. Annabeth's tears had broken forth already and Jason could feel the anger brewing tears of his own. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn't fair to take this out on Percy. He couldn't help but be angry though. Nico deserved so much more than the cards he'd been dealt.

“Don't tell him you know,” Jason said, opening his eyes again. “If he knows you're aware of it, _any of you_ , he'll disappear forever... He's already told me he plans to once this is all over. I won't let that happen, but I know if he finds out you know he'll be gone before I can catch him and talk some sense into him. No matter how many times I tell him that he'll always be accepted with us, no matter what, he doesn't believe it. He comes from a time where he would be killed for ever thinking the way he does about another man, so... don't push your luck.”

Jason turned back to Nico and saw Hazel crying softly into her hand. She was clinging to Nico's wrist with her free hand, as if she was afraid he would disappear in his sleep. Jason walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed to give her a one armed hug, rubbing his hand up and down her arm to soothe her. 

“We're all in this together... we have to look after him because no one else will. I'll take care of him tonight and send him back to Reyna in the morning. Not a word to him. Any of you. Got it?”

Hazel nodded and sniffed before standing and mouthing a quick 'thank you'. She rushed from the room and Annabeth ran after her to provide more comfort. Jason's eyes locked with Percy's for a second. It was only a second but some kind of mutual understanding passed between them in that moment. 

They would both protect him. He knew that Percy understood now. He couldn't understand how bad Percy must be feeling right now, but he knew it was intense enough to cause the tears to shimmer in his eyes. 

“I'll take the first watch,” Percy said, his voice thick with emotion. “Get some sleep.”

He turned and left the room without another word. Jason looked down at the sleeping boy in his bed and sighed loudly. He gently brushed Nico's bangs from his eyes and lay down beside him, facing away from him.

“You owe me,” he muttered softly before letting himself be pulled into an exhausted sleep.


End file.
